The Idiots Guide To Tuning Spanish Babes With Chris Bauer

When I was 17 years old and lacked an extreme amount of self-confidence when it came to females, I always wished I had someone to show me how to conduct myself around the opposite sex. I needed someone that oozed confidence and walked around head held high, revelling in their own aroma as they strolled through a park on a windy May afternoon as the wind blew from the south, leaves fell freely and the birds sung to one another whilst enjoying the company of their Endothermic siblings. A Role Model if you will. Someone that would not be afraid to speak their mind, break rules and even come off being a little pretentious if they had to. I don't know about you, but I like to refer to someone with these characteristics as a "Hellman".

Fast forward 4 years later and I am now 21. My hair has grown longer, alot redder and my confidence has sky rocketed. How I hear you ask? Well let me introduce you to a man named Chris Bauer. Chris is 24, resides in the coastal town of Austinmer and is a Virgo. Upon meeting Chris I happened to notice his confidence with the ladies and in particular, ladies of Spanish descent. I was very intrigued as to how Chris became so undaunted around females and soon began questioning his merits. What he revealed to me was what all Males dream of - The secrets to winning over the almighty Spanish Babe. So without further a due, I give you Chris Bauer's 5 Point Plan To Tuning Spanish Babes....

Lesson #1 - The Side Fringe

Chris always stressed this to me..."Morgan, if you're looking to impress the senorita's, never be afraid to flick the fringe".




Lesson #2- Influences

Chris always mentioned that you gotta have your style Icons. Here's a picture of Chris channelling the late James Dean.



Lesson #3- Food

This point is crucial. I've witnessed Chris in the kitchen and I know for a fact that the man can dish up a meal that would make even the roughest vagina turn moist in a matter of seconds. I bet money it had that effect on this lovely lady.




Lesson #4- Leather

Alum-tawed leather, Chris's leather of choice, has a profound effect on the female you're pursuing and is perfect for wrapping your arms around her on a cold wintery night. Here is Chris in leather channelling Jim Morrison of The Doors.



Lesson #5- Wine

The most crucial part of the whole process. Wine is a delicacy, hidden away for the perfect occasion. Be it for a candle lit dinner at a fancy restaurant, or hidden away surreptitiously under the rug whilst in the midst of a beachside picnic. Chris is no fool, he knows this. He is a true wine critique. Wine heritage has flowed through the Bauer family grapevine (see what I did there??) for countless years and has landed in Chris lap for the true purpose of impressing Babes.




So friends as you can see this is a fail-proof plan. I believe if you follow these five simple, yet effective steps, you will have no trouble whatsoever when it comes to acquiring your very own "Spanish Babe".

xoxo Morgan