I first met Dec when I was 17 and going for a surf with Dobo. I did however know of him as 'Shanghai Dex' as I was the biggest myspace entity going around and had often seen comments from him plastered over some of my friends walls. Dobo had made quite good friends with him as both were the biggest Glassy fringe rats at the time.
Anyway on this particular surf date we picked him up from his chick -at -the -time's house and he continued to neg up a fucking neg storm about her the whole way to Woo-town. I was like, who the fuck is this emotional cunt with crazy hair saying some crazy shit about some crazy chick. I was a quiet little boy back in those days and I think I had made out with only 3 chicks, one of which only made out with me because I beat her in scissor paper rock. So yeah I had no idea about the fundamentals of neggin' over a chick and Declan's rant was just pizzling my brain.
After this little surf date with J Lab, Madog and Declan we went to the Woo-town Bakery and it was here when I first witnessed Declan in his element. "Madog can I just borrow $1.20 for a cheese and bacon roll you hellman?". Anyway I remember coming and logging onto myspace and seeing 'One Friend Request' on my page. Declan declines this is true as he states his motto was "I only accept I never request", not once.
So yeah time passed and all of a sudden Dec is going out with one of my sister's best friends and he starts popping up everywhere. I remember one night I saw him at Cooney's (on a Wednesday when the place used to pump and the 'Block Rockers' played their gay little DJ set every week) wearing tight jeans, a plain white button up and some suspenders. Being a fresh 18 year old wearing slim jeans, a Billabong tee and green shoes, I thought to myself "What The Fuck?!", although he was probably thinking the same thing about me, haha. Anyways I was with Showman at the time and Dec comes up to us with the filthiest look on his face saying "Don't fucking say a word. All you Wollongong cunts are the same, don't know anything about good style. I don't cop this shit in Sydney", or something along those lines. Little did i know that a few years down the track I would be sneaking into Declan's room with Morgan, seeking out the aforementioned white button up shirt and vest in order to look 'cool' for a dess up party. The theme was movie stars and I went as Dec's hero: Russell Brand.
So a few more days, months and maybe years pass and I've become good friends with Dec's best friend; Pat 'looooomewooooodely' Woodley. I've donned Pat's skinny jeans and nice sneakers style and wear nothing but those every time I'm out and about. Anyway he invites me to come op shopping with him and Dec and this is the first time I kinda bro out with him. I remember distinctly that at one oppy he bought this heavy metal tee and said to me "I might rip the sleeves off this and wear it tonight". Speak of the devil I see him wearing the shirt, under a leather jacket, in the middle of Summer, again at Cooneys. I'm thinking to myself that this dude is crazy, just repping leather in order to look cool and not even taking the 30 degree heat into account.
More time passes and Declan is seen, manished as a cunt at a UOW Garden Party. So moinished that he feels the need to be an absolute dick and punch all his mates in the head, causing the Lab to lose his mind. Again I see him wearing something crazy, an oversize singlet and dancing in the craziest form I've ever seen. Again passed as "cool in Sydney".
So anyway Last year Dec rings me and asks me to play in an indoor team. I'm like yeah I'm digging the idea get me involved in this. We all rock up to our first game and name ourselves 'The Headies Shreddies'. I don't think I've met any other person who plays on words more than Dec. The amount of times he throws out some crazy word pattern, or a different way to say one's name by placing it into some form of different context (aka Dixon Bainbridge, Nicholas Bellatrix Estrange Bell) is staggeringly menacing. I've thoroughly enjoyed being on this team and love nothing more than bro-ing out with the fellas every Tuesday.
Dec has been known to get up people's noses a bit with his happy go lucky attitude. Just recently I witnessed a prime example of this. At a mini poker game at Pat and Koot's house Dec was chipped up after playing some of Pat's money and was pesting Koot's to get invovled. Koot's is out of money at the time and takes it the wrong way and all hell breaks loose. The big mun jumps over the table and starts laying into a helpless Simba (Declan) until he is finally pulled back by Dobo. Dec gets up and says a few words (one of them being cunt) and walks off downstairs. We try calm Koot down but he doesn't want a bar of it and runs downstairs for more. Dec is outside playing with his hair and checking his boots and Koots ends up in the backyard. Both stubborn men rarely talk about the incident and continue to stay good friends.
Anyway at the risk of this sounding like a ridiculous 21st speech I will end my rant here. All up I love this blog and the ridiculous shit I see on it. From man crushes, to chick crushes, to mod rambles and cricket shambles, this blog is sick!
Check out my own profile on James Dixon at www.thelifeofapone.blogspot.com
No comments:
Post a Comment