Jolly Ranchers

Jolly Ranchers used to be the raddest type of lollies around. In my formative years legally purchased a whole box for like three buzzards from the Go Lo in Ulludulla. Oh, how glorious it was. This type of innocent, yet ultimately superficial, pleasure is on that now can only be found for myself in a different type of ranch. I am not speaking of the delightful dressing that be commonly found on a Subway Sandwich. Rather I am referring to the most celebrated and talked about nights in the history of the Wollongong CBD. A place where chicks, dudes, hellmen, skits wads and the Casjh Man unite to revel in their own youth and beauty. This place of course is Liberteen Ranch. While these good times were formerly held at Castro's this time shit will get wild at the Tavern formerly known as the Coonie Bar. 

Highlights from former Ranches Include

- Morgans babe Casey Jons@ur and her pant that looked like a shiny virge barrel. 

- The most out of control halloween party of all time

- Every dude in the place falling in love with either the babe from the Jezzabels or the choick from The Cassette Kids

- Matticks wife teeling Koots she wished she could make out with him

- Tonk accosting some of Toe Cutters dancers and being publicly chastised then kicked out.

- Koots shralping in girls of questionable age before trying to force his questionable kissing (fish lip) techniques upon them.

- Koots becoming the man (more than once) in the infamous koot shirt.

- A life size naked cut out of koots, surprisingly the fore skin was not enhanced.

- Katseys glorious 21st night. 

- Morgan smooching a PB seven chicks. 

- Cartoon porn and massive teets everywhere your eyes dared to stray. 

If you want to make the cut on to the next high lights reel get involved at 8 PM sharp tomorrow evening and smash down your 20 hard earned bones (cheaper if you shralp yourself on a list by messaging koots or Tills) to see the likes of the scare and leave your mind at the door. 

Here is but a taste of the good times that will be going down.

THE JEZABELS from FLAMES YATES on Vimeo.