Rock Sledge

Easily one of the most glorious aspects of being a dude is banter and those wonderful moments when a line comes to you that is so witty, succinct and true that you realise that the joke was not created by you, but in fact was a line sent by God. Cricket is a game that is predominantly played in the mind and consequently its subsequent culture is one that embraces and at times celebrates verbal exchanges that are designed with the purpose of mental disintegration in your opponent.

Today I was fanging around a news website and stumbled upon these sledges that have been dubbed by at least one human to be the top ten of all time. I doubt this man or lady has had the chance to actually here every cricket sledge ever and therefore is in no real position to make such a definitive statement. The are funny nonetheless and are definitely worth your perusal.

Shane Warne vs Darryl Cullinan
Cullinan foolishly admitted he had seen a shrink to help him deal with Warney's mind games. When he arrived at the crease, the spinner taunted Cullinan with, "I'm going to send you straight back to the leather couch."

James Ormond vs Mark Waugh

During Ormond's debut for England in 2003 Ashes, Waugh greeted him with, "Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."

Ormond replied,"Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family."

Graham Gooch vs Mike Gatting

"If it had been a cheese roll, it would never have got past him," Gooch said of Gatting.

Ian Healy vs Arjuna Ranatunga

"You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c---," Healy reportedly told Ranatunga.

Ravi Shastri vs Mike Whitney

Whitney was 12th man and relieved an injured teammate in the field. Shastri smashed the ball in Whitney's direction and looked for a single, but Whitney stopped the ball and rifled it back to the keeper, preventing the run.

"If you leave the crease, I'll break your head," Whitney said.

Shastri replied with, "If you could play as well as you talk, you wouldn't be the 12th man."

Darren Gough vs Shane Watson

On tour in England, Watson complained of a sleepless night after being spooked by a 700-year-old ghost. He dashed out of his room and slept on Brett Lee's floor.

"Don't worry Shane, you can sleep in my bed tonight," Gough later said.

Aamer Sohail vs Ian Botham

In a radio interview, Botham described Pakistan as the place to send your mother-in-law. When Pakistan defeated England in 1992, Sohail was quick to remind Botham of his comments.

"Why don't you send your mother-in-law out to play, she can't do much worse," said Sohail.

Kevin Pietersen vs Shane Watson

Watson unloaded a tirade of sledges at Pietersen, which proved as craphouse as his bowling. Watson's fiancée, Kym Johnson had just publicly dumped him for Dancing with the Stars partner Tom Williams.

"Awww, you're just upset 'cos no one loves you any more," Pietersen said.

David Hookes vs Tony Greig

England's South African-born captain Greig greeted the 21-year-old Hookes on his debut in 1977 with, "When are your balls going to drop, Sonny?"

Hookes replied with, "I don't know, but at least I'm playing cricket for my own country."

Richie Benaud vs Bill Lawry

While Lawry commentated a match involving Pakistan, he offered a solution to the team's poor performance. "I think Pakistan's problem is they've got to relax," Lawry said.

With a straight face Benaud said, "I don't agree. I think Pakistan have got to learn how to bat, bowl and field. It's a simple game."